Hit Me With Your Best Shot
by kittybee
Summary: The Avengers find themselves transported to alternate dimension, where they don't exist, thanks to Loki. They have to wait for his powers to return and who knows how long that will take. Alexia King has her own tragic past to deal with and buries herself in comic books. Suddenly as if her life wasn't hectic enough, she finds herself housing six superheroes and a super villain.
1. Chapter 1

The park was dark apart from the bonfire burning in the center of it. Teenagers and young adults dressed in black were scattered around the fire, mindlessly chatting or sipping on alcoholic beverages of their choice. It was a weekly routine for them, these out-casted people. People who society had deemed too different to be normal, who didn't fit in because of the choices they did or didn't make.

These lost people gathered together, forming their own little society. But in every society there is always one who stands out. Someone different.

In this case it was twenty year old Alexia King. Even in a social setting as this she set herself apart and instead chose to sit by herself with a Smirnoff and a stack of Marvel comics. This was normal for her. Those around her quickly learned that she preferred the company of fictional heroes such as Iron Man and Captain America instead of living breathing humans.

Her black and purple hair distinguished her from the others as her brown eyes took in every story, every adventure of the heroes she loved. Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow, Hawkeye and the Hulk. Earth's mightiest heroes.

As a child her older brother used to read with her. He had been the only one to truly understand why she found such solace in the world of superheroes.

In that world, good and evil were black and white. There was no gray area. The good guys always saved the day. Always.

She looked up briefly, found a single star in the black blanket of the night and closed her eyes. Alexia wished that they existed. Her heroes. She opened her eyes, and realized with a start that the star was getting brighter and…closer?

She wasn't the only one who noticed either. The others around her started panicking, grabbing their belongings and running away from the now near blinding light. Alexia merely stuffed her comic books in her bag and stayed seated. Maybe she was being stupid, maybe she just really didn't care about her own safety (because Lord know she didn't) and in the back of her mind she knew she should be running, but something told her she _had_ to stay.

The white light was too bright now and Alexia had to shut her eyes against it. She curled up in a ball, waiting for the crash that would inevitably occur. _Is this how I'm going to die?_ Except, it never happened. There was no crash, no loud impact. Instead the light simply disappeared, leaving seven distinctly human shapes lying on the ground.

Alexia shook and she inhaled deeply. She should leave. She should run and not look back. But… against her better judgment she inched toward the shapes. The bonfire had somehow managed to stay aflame, casting a shadow over them. The body closest to her was of a man with shoulder length black hair and skin nearly as pale as hers. He was dressed strangely, in a green and black robe with the most ridiculous headgear she'd ever seen. In her mind they reminded her of antlers.

The man looked to be unconscious, but uninjured; so Alexia reached a tentative hand to shake his shoulder, a weak attempt at waking him up that she figured wouldn't work.

Except it did.

He bolted upright, revealing deep emerald green eyes, and locked his hand around her throat.

Alexia struggled to breath against the painfully strong grip. She clawed at his hand, but it didn't even seem to faze him.

"Who are you?" he growled, shaking her. His hand was deathly cold, numbing her neck to the point where she swore her vocal chords were covered in ice. She choked out some unintelligible noise, physically unable to do more.

"Put her down, Reindeer Games," a different voice demanded from behind her attacker. Alexia looked up, over her attacker's head, into a mask. It was a mask she'd recognize anywhere.

_Iron Man._

She gasped painfully as the man tightened his grip on her throat for a mere second; it seemed so much longer than that, before throwing her to the side. She slid across the dirt, rocks digging holes and cuts into her arms. She tried to catch her breath while making sure to keep an eye on the man dressed as Iron Man.

His costume was almost ridiculously realistic. The man in the green robes stood up, and Iron Man held up a gloved hand. In the center it glowed with a white light. Wow, Alexia thought. This guy went all out. I could vaguely make out the other figures starting to move and sit up.

"Do be calm Man of Iron," the green robed man's voice was like the most tempting honey, "I meant the mortal no harm. She merely startled me. Besides, would you really attack an unarmed being such as myself."

"Unarmed my ass," the semi-robotic voice retorted.

"It is true. That last spell used the last of my magic." _Magic? These guys are really in character._ "I have no reason to lie. Now would you kindly lower your weapons. I'm not fond of the idea of being injured when I cannot heal myself properly."

The other figures had surrounded him. There was a woman with a gun, a man with a bow and arrow, another with a shield, one with a hammer, and finally a man with no weapon, but instead was holding his incredibly baggy pants with his hands. Alexia had seen this before.

"Can someone," she wheezed, "tell me what the fuck is going on?" She coughed. _Shit that hurts,_ she thought. "Why are you guys dressed up as the Avengers? And how the hell did you get here? And you," she pointed at the green robed man, "why the hell did you try and choke me?" She looked at her arm. It was bleeding. She sighed and made her way to her bag and her abandoned drink, very aware of everyone's eyes on her.

Sirens broke the very tense and very awkward silence. "Fuck!" Alexia muttered, quickly grabbing her bag, and looking at the six people still just staring at each other, at her. Making a quick decision she motioned them to follow her. "Come on!" They didn't move. "Unless you want to spend the night in a jail cell I suggest you come with me."

The man with the hammer grabbed the man with the horns roughly by the arm and dragged him along as they followed Alexia to her car. It only just managed to fit everyone. Alexia pulled away just before the cops showed up. She didn't relax until the park was well behind her.

They sat in silence, broken only by the occasional shifting movement. She turned on the light inside the car. Alexia took a good look at the people sitting in her car. Next to her in the passenger seat was the man with a bow and arrow, so she assumed he was supposed to be dressed as Hawkeye. He was blonde and was wearing a leather uniform, like the one in the Avengers movie Alexia had seen five times.

The others were easy enough to recognize. The red head was Black Widow, the man with the shield was Captain America, the one with the hammer was Thor, she already identified Iron Man, the green robed man had to be Loki, and that left the man in the baggy clothes to be Bruce Banner.

This was surreal. And also very strange. What the hell was she thinking? These were weirdoes in costume. She should've just let the cops have them. But she didn't have the best experience with the police.

And then there was that whole, they weren't there one moment and then there the next and the really big freaky light. Alexia sighed and pulled the car over to the side of the road. It was late enough that nobody was out. She laid her head against the steering wheel.

"What is your name small strange haired woman?" a deep voice asked from the back.

"Alexia," she said not bothering to lift her head to see who asked it. Her throat still hurt from the Loki impersonator trying to strangle the shit out of her. There would be bruises. Not that she wasn't used to them but still. "Can I just ask one question?" she asked tiredly.

"Uh yeah, I guess," said the man next to her.

"Why are you guys dressed as comic book characters? Was there a convention somewhere and I missed it?" She wasn't even going to bring up the weird light. She wasn't drunk enough for that yet. And she definitely needed a cigarette. She was supposed to have quit, but she thought she deserved one. And quitting never really worked did it?

Someone in the back scoffed. "What do you mean comic book characters?" They sounded disbelieving. "We're the Avengers! Earth's mightiest heroes and all that good stuff. You have to have heard of us."

Alexia took a deep breath. "I'm in no mood to put up with jokes like that," she said sternly. "Just forget it. Look I'll take you guys to the nearest bus stop or train or wherever you guys need to go to get back to the costume party or whatever. And I'll give you guys money for coffee. You guys are probably beyond fucked up and it might do you good." She was rambling. She hated rambling. But what else was she supposed to do? She'd never been in a situation like this before. There were seven strangers sitting in her car, dressed up like her favorite super heroes; claiming to be those heroes.

The seven strangers gave each other puzzled looks.

"We're not joking though," the voice next to her said. Alexia just shook her head against the steering wheel and put the car into drive. She'd be stopping by the store to pick up a pack after dropping them off. She was in no mood to be dealing with this.

"I'm not nearly drunk enough to be dealing with this shit," she muttered, unaware that she had spoken out loud.

"I share that sentiment exactly!" the metal man exclaimed. "But first I would very much like to get out of my suit." The mask slid up revealing a man looking very similar to Robert Downy Jr. "Can you somehow drive us to Stark Towers? You can't miss it really. It's the really big building that says Stark on it downtown."

"Okay guys really? This joke has gone on long enough," Alexia snapped. "Stark Towers doesn't exist. Neither do the Avengers. Not in this world anyways. I'm offering you a ride and that's more than what most others would give a bunch of fucked up people like you. So just stop alright?"

"You're being serious?" the red-headed woman asked. Alexia just nodded. She suddenly felt very tired.

"Brother what have you done?"


	2. Chapter 2

If anyone asked Alexia why she pulled into her driveway, all seven strangers still sitting in her car, instead of dumping them at the nearest police station, she would've answered that she was slightly drunk and tired and wasn't in her right mind at the time.

Honestly, she just didn't know what else to do. These people honestly believed that they were the Avengers… plus Loki. Maybe they just need to sleep off whatever it is in their system, she thought.

So she brought them home. It's not like she didn't have the room to spare anyways. Alexia lived in a large three story house with too many rooms to count. An inheritance that had thankfully already been paid for long before she was born. Most people would have sold their souls to live in a house like that, but Alexia found it too big and too empty. No one else lived there with her, not anymore.

In silence they all piled out of the car and walked into the house, looking on in awe. They had agreed to keep quiet until Alexia was ready for them to speak. _"I don't want to hear another word until I'm sufficiently drunk enough to actually believe you. If you so much as breathe too goddamned loud I'll leave you at the nearest police station."_ Normally they would've put up a fight, -being bossed around by a woman who was barely even five and a half feet? Please.- but everyone was drained and confused, unsure of exactly what was going on. The men cosplaying as Loki and Bruce Banner had actually fallen asleep in the car. She would never admit it, but Alexia thought it was adorable.

Alexia went immediately to the kitchen, intent on getting drunk enough to deal with this. She waved her hand dismissively, telling them to find a room they liked and to make themselves comfortable. "The third floor is off limits!" she called over her shoulder as an afterthought.

As her odd guests went to various rooms to make themselves comfortable, Alexia helped herself to a few shots of vodka. Even though she was a year away from the legal drinking age, she had people who bought her liquor, and had acquired quite the impressive stash. She searched through a number of draws before exclaiming loudly in happiness. "I knew I had a pack in here," she muttered to herself. Thankful that she had kept an ash tray in the sitting room, she made her way there with her new found cigarettes and a glass of vodka.

Everyone but the good Captain and Iron Man were already present. She hated calling them that, but she didn't know what else to refer to them as. She felt that names were just an unnecessary nicety at this point. Alexia made herself comfortable on her arm chair and lit a cigarette, sighing in relief as the familiar weight settled on her lungs. Banner just raised an eyebrow, shaking his head at the lack of proper etiquette she had in regards to having guests over. Thor and Loki simply glared at each other as if holding a silent conversation.

"Smoking will kill you, you know," a voice said from behind her. She looked over to see the Robert Downey Jr. look-a-like with an amused smile on his face. Captain America wasn't far behind him. Alexia merely raised her eyebrow with a sarcastic smirk.

"More power to it then." She waited until everyone was seated comfortably. She had let the men pick from what was left of her father and brother's clothing and Black Widow was wearing some of Alexia's own clothes. If Alexia didn't know any better she would have thought that there were seven famous actors sitting in her living room. She sighed. "I'm now officially drunk enough to mostly believe anything you have to say," she stated, taking another drag from her cigarette. Loki and Thor looked at her curiously, neither sure what it was she was smoking.

"Dollface, can I bother you for a drink before we do this?" Iron Man asked her.

Alexia waved her hand dismissively. "I left the vodka on the counter in the kitchen. Help yourself. And don't ever call me dollface again."

"Are we really asking permission from this peasant?" Loki asked snidely. "Especially from a rude one at that."

"Brother!" Thor scolded him. "She is our host and kept the law keepers from capturing us. She also gave us the clothes on our backs. Be gracious she did not leave us to fend for ourselves."

"You play your characters very well," Alexia said, "but there is really no need to keep the act up." She crushed the cigarette in the ash tray. Iron Man joined them again, drink in hand. "Well, now everyone's here, so start your story."

They all looked at each other curiously, not sure where they should begin. Captain America cleared his throat. "You say we don't exist here, but you know who we are." Alexia nodded. "How?"

"And here I thought you guys were answering my questions. Whatever. I watch movies and read comics," Alexia said annoyed. The game was getting old.

"Can we see them? Please?" Banner asked her. She nodded and headed to her room upstairs, lighting another cigarette as she went. "Guys I think she's serious."

"I think she's crazy, and rude," Clint said crossing his arms. Natasha nodded.

"I wouldn't say crazy, but she seems like trouble. But at the moment we have to assume that her word is the truth and we don't exist here."

"That's because you don't," Alexia interrupted them from the doorway. She deposited a stack of comic books and DVDs on the coffee table. They all grabbed one and started flipping through the pages. "Enjoy the read. Now will you please tell me what happened? I even asked nicely this time."

Banner sighed and ran a hand through his graying hair. "Well…

"_Brother, stop this nonsense at once!" Thor shouted from the ground as Loki stood on top of a large building. He scowled._

"_I am not your brother Thor! I never was. And I won't stop until this puny planet is mine!"_

_Iron Man and Hawkeye finished destroying the rest of the creatures Loki had brought with him to do his dirty work. They were ugly and massive but they fell easily enough. Loki looked around and realizing that he was losing started moving his hands that let everyone know he was about to cast a spell._

"_Hawkeye!" Captain America yelled._

"_On it!" he responded as he let loose an arrow from his bow. Loki dodged the arrow but the spell was interrupted._

"_You fools!" Loki yelled as the spell started malfunctioning. _

…the last thing I remember is a blinding white light and then you found us," Bruce concluded. It was a short and sweet explanation but Alexia still looked unconvinced.

"So you want me to believe that you guys are actually the Avengers and not some maniacs dressed up in costume? And that Loki over here, messed up on some spell that brought you all to my universe?"

"Sounds about right," Clint answered. "Nat, who's this Bucky guy?" The color drained from Natasha's face.

"No one you need to worry about Clint."

Alexia snatched the comic from Barton's hands, ignoring his protest. "So let's say I believe you; what happens?"

Loki cleared his throat. "Well, my magic should return to me in a few days' time and then I should be able to transport us back to our world."

"Should?" Alexia asked dubiously.

"Well the spell was originally only supposed to transport my person away from the battle. But due to the interruption," he paused to glare at Clint who whistled innocently, "it transported all of us here. It will take me a little bit to figure out what exactly went wrong."

Tony made a time-out sign with his hands. "Hold up. So our only hope of going home is Loki? Our enemy? How do we know he won't just leave us here and take himself home when he gets his magic back?" There were nods of agreement from the other Avengers.

Alexia sighed. "Can we figure this out in the morning? I can't deal with anymore of this right now." She rubbed her temples. "I'm going to regret this but go make yourselves comfortable upstairs. You can spend the night here. Tomorrow you can figure the rest of this shit out." Alexia turned to leave and paused for a second. "Remember the third floor is off limits," she reminded them over her shoulder as she left. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.


End file.
